Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Curses

Friend George, in complaining about jingles (here) getting stuck in one's head, has implanted the Armour Hotdogs jingle in mine. Make it stop. (He - put creatures in our bodies. To control our minds.")

Mssr. Fool writes,

"Hot dogs! Armour Hot Dogs!
What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Fat kids, skinny kids,
Kids who climb on rocks
Tough kids, sissy kids,
Even kids with chicken pox
Love hot dogs!
Armour Hot Dogs!
The Dogs Kids Love To Bite!

"What a parade of horribles: children with body image issues (the obese and the anorexic), children engaged in dangerous ascents of geological formations without appropriate state-sponsored supervision, children with aggressive tendencies or questions of gender identity, even children suffering from now-arcane and little seen diseases, all culminating in an outright endorsement of animal cruelty. Not to mention, of course, that the Center for Science in the Public Interest instructs us never to approach within a hectare of the product being sold. (Do you know how those things are made? Why, it's more frightening than the legislative process!)"


Well, vengeance is mine. Take this...

OSCAR MAYER WEINER SONG

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener
That is what I'd truly like to be
'cause if I were an Os-car Mayer Wiener
Every one would be in love with me.


Talk about a message to send your kids. If I was but a piece of meat, ground from many organs and other unspeakable animal parts , then my peers would admire and adore me.

Is that really what we want our kids to think?

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